Having returned from our recent 'fact finding' mission to Phoenix, we were now able to progress with the next stage of the Visa process and instructions from the immigration team at Mr B's office duly arrived shortly after.
Let's see ... complete online application ... make appointment for interview at US Embassy ... take along the attached small-rainforest-worth of forms in triplicate...
"... you will also need to provide a passport type photograph 1.5" x 1.5" ..." Ah, right, that's OK ... I have some spare photos from the recent passport debacle. I'll just get those out now ... Oh. They measure 1.5" x 1.75". Wonder if that would be OK? Better check out the US Embassy website just in case. Here we are ... photos .... "photos must be 2" x 2" square with a white background..." Brilliant. After checking and double checking all the other information in case anything else was different, I also discovered that we would each require a digital photo to be submitted with the online application as well as taking the actual photo to the interview at the US Embassy in London. Good grief.
Right, well let's not panic. I am sure I have seen a photo booth in Sainsbury's that advertises Visa pictures, so that will be OK .. we can just pop in there and get those done over the weekend. Ah, but then how are we going to get the digital copies? Hmm ... Ha! Got it! I can just scan them in with that old scanner we have had lying about for ages and hardly ever used. In fact, come to think of it we haven't used it since we changed our home computer from a ...... Windows ... to a Mac .... oh God. After another hour rummaging through the mountain of CDs at the back of the cupboard containing enough installation drivers to power NASA ... Eureka! ... I managed to find the one for the Scanner which proclaimed 'suitable for PC and Mac'. Yesssssss! Helpfully, as our Mac does not have an integrated disc drive, more time had to be spent locating and connecting the external one. Right. Finally. Now, if I just insert the disc and quickly install the driver we should be in business. Wrong. Computer says Noooooo. A rather shouty error message kindly informed me that this would in fact not be possible. Cheers. Thanks a lot.
Deep breath ... count to 10 ... think ... there must be places that you can go to that will take the photo and also provide you with a digital copy. Yes, of course! That's what we'll do. After determining that there was one such place in Brighton just across from hubby's office, he was duly instructed to go and get his done at lunchtime. Meanwhile, as Youngest had an appointment with the Orthodontist later that day in Haywards Heath I figured that if we could find somewhere nearby that also did Visa pictures then we could get that done at the same time. A quick Google search informed me that Timpsons in Haywards Heath offered such a service. Really? The shoe repairers? Hmmm, better just ring and check.
"Hi. Do you do ID photos for US Visas?"
"Yes Madam"
"Oh good. And it would be on a white background right?"
"Well, technically it's light grey, which is the standard for all passport pictures."
"Yes, but it's not a passport picture. It's for a US Visa, which stipulates a white background?"
"Oh no, you'll be fine. They are all on a grey background now."
"Oh OK. Can you also provide a digital copy?"
"Er ... yes, we should be able to do that"
"Er ... You don't sound very sure?"
"Oh yes. We can definitely do that"
With visions of a Catherine Tate sketch planted firmly in my mind, I set off to collect Youngest from school for his first appointment with the Orthodontist (we had only been waiting since last August).
After a pre-appointment with the practice administrator, who went on to explain very matter-of-factly that if he did indeed require treatment the current NHS waiting time was 2 years (WHAT??? we could have gone and come back by then!). Lack of NHS funding apparently. I have never heard anything so ridiculous in my life! We finally got to see the man himself, who was very pleasant, however, once he discovered we were going to be moving decided it would not be worth starting anything here and we should take Youngest to an Orthodontist in the US once we had settled in. Bloody Hell!
Next stop, Timpsons (and clearly not in the best of moods by now).
"Hi. I called earlier regarding some US Visa photos?"
"Oh yes, that's right. I'll be right with you"
He finished off heeling the shoe he was repairing (that should have been a red light right there) and came out from behind the counter with camera in hand. Photos were taken (requiring several attempts) and 6 x printed copies handed over (we only needed one, and the top two had half our heads chopped off, but never mind). Hmm, the background was a dark grey and the head almost filled the whole picture.
"Erm ... I think there are quite strict criteria on size and position of the head. I'm not sure these are correct?" I said. Shoe man gave a cocky sneer and replied in a condescending tone ...
"Of course they are. The machine does it all automatically." He may as well have added the implied "... dur!"
After another wait whilst he worked out how to get said pictures on to a disc, muttering "sorry to keep you, it's the first time I have done one of these ..." he handed it over and we left, not exactly inspired with confidence.
Youngest was duly deposited back at school **grumbling that it was hardly worth it for just an afternoon AND it was Friday...** whilst I headed back home to upload the photos. I inserted the disc into the drive and waited for the photos to appear ... and waited ... and waited. Once again ... the computer said Noooooo. That would be because the disc was completely blank and contained absolutely no data. Nothing. Zip. Nada. I also re-checked the printed photo against the criteria for the image size again on the website and determined that they were indeed too big and therefore 'unacceptable'. I think it was at this point that I seriously considered whether I should just open the Vodka and give up.
In a scene reminiscent of something from an episode of Benny Hill (yes, I am that old), I got back in the car and drove the 20 minutes back to Haywards Heath to pay another visit to my friend at Timpsons. Let's see if he is still as cocky by the time I have finished with him! Helpfully, it was now pouring with rain and so by the time I had walked from the car park to the shop, not only was I
severely ticked off but also soaking wet to boot. A few (choice) words and one refund later, I returned home congratulating myself on the remarkable restraint I had shown in Timpsons, managing to refrain from inserting said CD into a slot of a very different kind ... Let's just hope he is better at mending shoes.
So let's see, what had I actually managed to achieve today? ... oh yes, that's right .... Nothing.
My mood was not improved later that evening when Mr B returned home smugly presenting his 2"x2" photo, perfectly proportioned complete with white background, and an email with the digital copy, which apparently had taken him all of 20 minutes from start to finish. You can go off some people.
Suffice to say that on Saturday morning we were all off to said shop in Brighton to start again (Colourstream in James Street if you ever find yourself needing one - can highly recommend). A very pleasant chap took our photos with speed and efficiency and we were advised that we could collect 20 minutes later. Given that the shop was situated two doors down from Starbucks, we whiled away the time over a cappuccino & a hot chocolate (which apparently was 'waaaaay better' than mine) whilst observing the local
Finally ... another successful mission accomplished ... well, apart from me sprinkling cinnamon all over my cappuccino instead of chocolate, but that's another story!
Come back next week to find out how we got on at the Visa interview!
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