Hi all!
I know my UK readers who have been experiencing weeks of wind and rain will not want to hear this but here in Scottsdale we are having a bit of a heatwave at the moment. Temperatures have been in the mid 80s all week, some 15 degrees warmer than the average for this time of year, and are set to continue all of next week too! I can't tell you what a difference it makes waking up to clear blue skies and sunshine day after day and being able to sit outside in the evenings with a drink and not freezing to death (even at the height of most UK summers I recall having to resort to a thick woolly cardigan at the very least)! Having spent 53 winters in the UK though, I know how dark and dreary February can be, so I feel your pain my friends, I really do. Hang in there though - only another couple of weeks until March and then Spring will be on its way. But in the meantime .... Yay me! :D
This week Youngest's English class were all required to give a presentation at school.
"What's the subject?" I asked him, imagining some synopsis of a book they had been reading or key character analysis etc. Apparently not.
"Well, we're doing it in pairs and we all have different grammar related topics. Ours is on Italicising and Underlining. It has to be 8 minutes with slides, examples and a quiz".
Ugh. Good luck with that. Well let's just hope his English teacher is not a reader of my blog as both are scattered randomly throughout my ramblings, and in all probability totally inappropriately. (I did ask Ethan to describe to me when each should be used ... just to validate his understanding of course *coughs* ... but think I must have dozed off).
On Tuesday afternoon (2 days before the presentation) he came home from school and asked "Do you think that suit I wore for Simon's wedding will still fit me?"
"I don't know. That was well over a year ago so probably not. Why?"
"Well, Dr Spencer said we had to wear a suit if we had one, or smart business dress".
Oh did he now. Thanks for that. Remind me to poke him in the eye next time I see him.
So, amid much muttering and cursing (bearing in mind that this was the same teacher whom you may recall had previously rejected one of Ethan's homework submissions because it was in an incorrect format, i.e. printed on A4 paper instead of US Letter .... Yup ...) said suit was retrieved from the back of the wardrobe (closet) and tried on accordingly. Amazingly it still fitted! This was due in no small part to that 'Mum trick' of buying everything a size too big ... what do you mean it feels massive? as hands are barely visible at ends of sleeves. Rubbish! It looks absolutely fine ... and also the fact that Youngest seems to be the only member of the family who has actually lost weight since we moved here, growing taller and skinnier (from the waist up only apparently as bizarrely the trousers were still the right length but now too big around the waist! How does that work?)
As he paraded in front of the mirror preening himself, he announced that he actually looked quite good.
"It'll be fine as long as I don't take the jacket off."
"What?! You'll roast. It's going to be 85 degrees! Why can't you take the jacket off?"
"Well look at it!" he wailed opening it up to reveal the blue and green Paisley lining. "It's like Ariel's palace in there!"
After much hilarity and a quick rendition of Disney's 'Under the Sea' we went off to raid Mr B's wardrobe in search of a suitable tie.
"How about one of these?" I suggested as I pulled a couple of the more flamboyant options out of the wardrobe.
"Pfffft! NO!"
" ... one of these then?" I offered as I selected a couple of classic striped numbers
"Ugh, no!"
"What's wrong with those?"
"I'll look like a mini Marcus Barlow and probably walk in saying 'Morning chaps! Tickety-boo!"
That boy kills me, he really does! :D
Finally he selected the plainest most inconspicuous option available, a plain dark grey affair that I think Mr B usually reserves for funerals and such. He did look very smart though ...
When I collected him from school on Thursday afternoon he said that it had gone quite well and that they had scored 80 out of 100. He did observe though that 30 seconds per slide was a REALLY loooooonng time when you were standing in front of everyone and they had underestimated the narrative somewhat.
"What did you do?" I asked "Ad lib for a bit?"
"No, we just stood there awkwardly until the slide changed". Lol.
The other thing that had me in hysterics this week was a visit from Dennis the Menace, our Landlord. Not that he was trying to be funny intentionally you understand. Let me explain ...
In our bedroom there are Venetian blinds fitted to each of the windows - you know the sort, those annoying slatted affairs that you have to raise and lower with a knotted cord at one side and which open and close via a pulley at the other.
Well, the largest one broke and whilst you could raise and lower it (if you had the strength of Charles Atlas) you couldn't open and close it. I mentioned it to our Landlord some time ago who said he would need Marcus to help him get it down as it was really heavy and if I could let him know next time he was working from home he could take it for repair and hopefully get it back the same day. Mr B doesn't often work from home, prefering the office environment and the people interaction, but yesterday had to make a visit to the airport to get his Global Entry authorisation approved (which means he won't have to wait in those long immigration lines at the airport any more) so in between was a perfect opportunity.
Dennis duly arrived just after 8am and proceeded to set up two step ladders at either side of the window. As it was a real struggle to raise it right to the top, he thought halfway would be fine and started to unscrewed the appropriate bits which held it all in place. He announced he was ready to get it down and so with Dennis at the top of his ladder already, Mr B climbed up his steps to take the weight on the other side. As I watched with mild amusement from the doorway, I could picture exactly what was going to happen next. Now Dennis is not a big man, in fact I would go so far as to describe him as short and slightly built. The ginormous blind was clearly going to be extremely heavy, plus it wasn't concertina-ed right to the top, and as he descended his ladder, instructing Mr B to let him get down first, he realised too late that his arms wouldn't be long enough and as he almost reached the bottom of his ladder, he dropped it and I watched in slow motion as the untethered section clattered down on his head!
"Oh! Dennis are you ok?" Mr B exclaimed
"Yes, yes ... I'm fine" he blustered clearly embarrassed, whilst I meanwhile was desperately fighting the urge to laugh.
Now on the ground but trapped between his heavy step ladder and the window (clearly not having the foresight to step down in front of the ladder rather than behind it!) he was also clearly stuck. Mr B, now also on the ground but on the right side of his ladder was just about holding it together and trying to avoid making eye contact with me, now biting my knuckles as tears rolled down my cheeks.
"Erm ... Bev!" Dennis called "do you think you could come and move this ladder please so I can get out?"
Images of Frank Spencer in mac and beret, flashed through my mind as I quickly managed to pull myself together and free him from behind the ladders. Once they had got it into his car, he drove off to see his 'blind man' promising he would be back with it in a few hours. I can't wait.
At 4.30pm, just when we were resigning ourselves to having no blind at the window that night, he appeared at the door. Apparently his 'blind man' only did repairs in-situ (I can't think why) and it had taken him hours to find anybody to repair it but finally he had managed it.
"Now we just need to pop it back and I'll be out of your way..."
Oh God.
This time, whoever had fixed said blind had sensibly secured with tape at various intervals to stop it all unraveling (and hitting somebody on the head). Both Mr B and Dozey Dennis climbed their respective ladders once more, holding the blind between them and it was soon secured at the window once more.
"Do you have some scissors?" asked Dennis. "I just need to cut this tape off ..."
I handed him the scissors with a sense of foreboding
"Ha! Better make sure I don't cut through the cord eh?!" he quipped.
Snip. Yep. You guessed it ... he had cut straight through the cord that raises and lowers it! So now we have a blind that opens and closes but doesn't raise and lower. You couldn't make it up!
I had to leave the room under the pretence of 'checking on dinner' and Mr B quickly followed mumbling something about just needing to blow his nose, whereupon we both fell about in hysterics, tears rolling down our faces, whilst trying to muffle our laughter by stuffing tea towels in our mouth.
Two minutes later he was hurrying red faced out of the door muttering something about us not really needing to raise the blind anyway as it would be too hot ...
"Hmmmm .... Betty!"
Well, enjoy the rest of the weekend - Mr B and I are off to see the Dancing with the Stars Live show tomorrow for Valentine's Day ... yay! ... and hope to see you next time.
Thanks for dropping in!
TTFN
Bev X
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