Oh Crumbs ..... !

Hello again Friends - welcome back!  What have you all been up to?

It has been a somewhat frustrating week in the kitchen here at Barlow Towers.  Let me elaborate ...

"What?  Have I been trying to eat the evidence? ...  I don't know what you mean!"

I have been making shortcrust pastry since I was a small child.  From the age of three or four I can remember presenting my Dad with totally unappetizing, greyish-looking (where they had rolled on the floor a couple of times) rock creations that I had moulded from left over pastry as I sat at the kitchen table watching my Mum make a pie for tea (or if we were really lucky, Cornish Pasties, one of my favorites!).  To his credit, he always managed to take a small bite, professing it to be 'totally delicious'  before feigning fullness and swiftly whizzing it into the bin when I wasn't looking.

When I was five or six, I mastered the art of rolling out and used to love using the little fluted pastry cutters to shape the dough into circles and press them into patty tins with a spoonful of strawberry jam to make tarts.   No doubt Dad was over the moon when I reached this stage - not that he actually got many though as I seem to recall greedily stuffing them in my little mouth as soon as they had come out of the oven (suffering many a burnt tongue in the process!).

Bear with ... I am getting to the point, honestly ...

At the age of eight,  I became totally proficient in the whole process from start to finish, carefully rubbing in fat to flour, all the while heeding Mum's instruction of lifting it high to get as much air in as possible.  Over the following years I must have made hundreds of batches of pastry - fruit pies and quiches in the summer,  meat and potato pies in the winter (as I have said before, you can take a girl out of the North ...) and of course, mince pies at Christmas.  I have always using the traditional recipe of half fat to flour with the fat being made up of half butter/half lard and it always turned out great.   Since we moved to Arizona though, I cannot seem to get it right at all!  Firstly, I struggled to find lard ... I looked in every fridge in every supermarket for weeks, until a friend told me that I wouldn't find it in the fridge but on a shelf with the cooking oils.  That's odd, I thought.  Doesn't lard have to be kept refrigerated?  Won't it go off ? On the next visit to the supermarket I sought out the oil aisle (try saying THAT after a couple of glasses of wine) and sure enough, on the very bottom shelf beside the olive oil, vegetable oil, canola oil and a whole host of other oils that I have never even heard of, I found lard.  Finally!  I was a bit suspicious about the quality and still worried about the lack of refrigeration, but purchased the smallest size packet I could find (which was still HUGE) in order to give it a try.

The first batch I made was for mince pies during our first December here.  As they were in the oven cooking I kept smelling something strange ... a faint whiff of something kind of chemical ... what did it remind me off?   Ah, yes, that's it ... petrol!  Ewwww!  Where is it coming from?  As soon as I opened the oven door to retrieve the pies I immediately knew ... the pastry!  Oh my God! I had fully intended to throw them all in the bin, but then once they had cooled the smell disappeared and they tasted OK, so I decided it must have all been in my imagination.

The second batch was for a quiche (you will have no doubt read in previous posts about the various quiche requests I have received from school so obviously they didn't think it was too bad) but once again, the same chemical smell as it was baking.  Yuk!  What the hell is in this stuff?  I inspected the packet ... 'hydrogenated lard' ... that doesn't sound good.  I know that lard in general is not exactly a health food, but at least the lard I was used to buying from the butchers was freshly rendered and at least a natural product.  What the hell is 'hydrogenated lard'?!  Other ingredients:
Butylated hydroxytoluene (BHT) and BHA (Butylated Hydroxyanisole) ... oh nice.  Who doesn't like a few carcinogenic additives with their quiche?  What the hell?!  Right.  The rest of the packet went straight in the bin.  

For the next batch, I tried substituting the lard with 'vegetable shortening'.  I couldn't even roll it out without it falling to bits every time I tried to turn it despite adding more water (which just turned into a sticky mess), followed by more flour (a gluey sticky mess).  This also went in the bin.  

Fourth attempt ... I decided to use all butter.   Whilst this worked fine and the pastry had a lovely flavor,  it was a bit too heavy and not melt in the mouth crumbly like it should be.  Bloody hell! Making a bit of pastry should NOT be this difficult! 

Last week was The Teen's 15th birthday (I know!!  How did THAT happen?) and he had requested a 'birthday quiche' that he could take for his lunches a couple of days.  Oh God.  Really?  Pastry?!  Right, well, yes OK, I'll do my best.  That, and a chocolate cake.  Well, at least that should be simple enough.  But first quiche ...

OK so maybe this time if I do 3/4 butter and just 1/4 shortening then it should be fine right?  Wrong.   Mr B just happened to come home right at the point where as I carefully tried to fold it over the rolling pin to transfer to the tin it disintegrated into a million pieces and wisely made a hasty retreat into the other room before he sustained a nasty blow to the head with a large wooden rolling pin.

Bollocks!

I could hear Mum's voice quite clearly in my ear ... "If at first you don't succeed, try, try, try again".   Well, quite frankly,  I was on the verge of 'if at first you don't succeed, open the wine', but as it was The Teen's birthday and he doesn't ask for much bless him, I refused to be defeated.  There was nothing for it but to start again.  Finally, by adjusting ratios even further I managed to achieve a reasonable pastry and complete the birthday quiche in the nick of time.  Phew!  I don't think we'll be having pastry for quite a while though.

Now.... just a quick chocolate cake to whip up and we're there.  Should be a piece of .. er .. cake.  All was going well until it was time to turn the sponges out of their tins.  oooch! ... ouch! ... that's hot! ... aaaaarrrghhh! .... Oh f*ck it!

F*!@!!!  Seriously?!?

Mary Berry would not be pleased ... and I'm guessing I'm not going to be start baker this week either. Oh well.  Maybe he won't even notice ...

Nailed it!

Yes, yes, alright ... I know the drill ... if at first you don't succeed ... ya dee ya dee ya da.   This is getting to be a bloody habit!

OK.  Better?

apparently candles are not cool when you're 15 ...

To add insult to injury ...  after all that effort, we went to the cinema followed by dinner on the evening of The Teen's birthday and upon arriving home to finish the evening with a celebratory slice of cake he decreed he was 'too full' and 'couldn't manage another bite' and disappeared off to his bedroom to play his new Playstation game!  Cosmic.

Until next time ...

TTFN
Bev x

Feeling Crabby ...!

Hello again friends!  How've you all been and what have you been up to?

I am sure you won't have missed the fact that a few short weeks ago (has it only been that long?) Donald Trump was inaugurated as the 45th President of the United States (still can't quite believe I am typing that!).  I have been desperately trying not to get involved in the whole politics thing over here as after all, I am a guest in this country and (thankfully) he is not our President and so I don't really feel entitled to complain.  However, for the record  ... he makes my flesh creep.  Even before there was any whiff of him running for President, I have always thought him to be an egotistical bully and nothing I have seen or heard since his inauguration has yet to convince me otherwise.  The political furore doesn't seem to have died down any here either, and if anything appears to be getting worse as each day goes by, so it will be interesting to see what happens as it all unfolds (or unravels, whichever comes first).  Watch this space. 

At the end of January, Mr B and I had a nice evening our with the Newcomers Group (it is still called 'Newcomers' even though a lot of it's members have been here years now, lol) at a restaurant called 'The Angry Crab Shack'.  It was a new concept to us ... essentially you choose your seafood (which comes by the pound), then choose a sauce, and then add your spice which ranged from a 0 described as 'Me no Likey Spice'; 1 - Mild (Wimpy) to 5 - Scorching Scorpion (Order at Your Own Risk)!  

"Do I have to wear this bib?!"

There are no plates or cutlery and food is delivered to you in the large plastic bag it was cooked in, together with an equally large plastic bib.  Interesting (luckily I had decided against white jeans at the last minute!).  

I chose Shrimp with a Pacific Rim sauce, which the waitress described as a 'coconut curry' type of sauce.  Perfect.  When the food was ready, a large plastic bag arrived in front of me containing a steaming concoction of large juicy shrimp (still in their shells with heads intact) in a bright yellow curry sauce.  Hmmm, where to start?  I guess there was nothing for it but to get my hands in there and start peeling... man, it was hot!  I should mention at this point that Mr B (ever the adventurer) had chosen grilled salmon, which was served in a much more civilized fashion in a basket with fries!
Some time later, exhausted from the effort of grappling with red hot, slippery shrimp in an effort to snap their heads off and relieve them of their curried coats of armor and up to my elbows in sauce (I hate getting my hands dirty at the best of times so I was positively freaking out by now!) I conceded defeat and hurried off to wash my hands.  After I had been scrubbing away for several minutes in an attempt to remove all traces of crustacean guts and gubbins from under my nails, I noticed that my previously immaculate manicure was now rather less 'baby pink' and more ... how shall I describe it? ... a lovely shade of 'baby crap'!  Cosmic.  (Vivian was furious .... "whaa da heww?!?"... Lol)

Yikes!

Last weekend, Mr B was catching up on his news feed and told me that apparently Phoenix had ranked No. 1 in a list of cities with the best drivers.  Seriously?!  There are some of the worst drivers I have ever encountered here!  At least once a week you can guarantee when you turn on the news first thing in the morning there will be another report of a 'wrong way driver' on one of the freeways overnight that at the very best has caused an accident or, as is the case far too frequently, killed someone.  And don't get me started on the number of drivers I see on a daily basis who are on the phone whilst driving.  You can tell instantly.  Apart from the giveaway hunched shoulder and bent neck,  they are usually veering from one side of the lane to the other or drifting steadily towards the curb before realizing and swerving back on track (there should be no excuse for this these days as most cars now have bluetooth capabilities).   I see people texting whilst driving here ALL THE TIME and also those holding their phone about 2 inches from their face as they attempt to drive whilst simultaneously trying to read the GPS on their iPhone (other smart phones are available)!   The most astonishing thing of all though is they are not breaking any law.   Nope.  Whilst it is an offense in 44 states in the US to text whilst driving, here in Arizona it is still perfectly legal (except for school bus drivers)!  Unbelievable!  I was also astonished to learn that currently it is still legal to use a hand held cellphone whilst driving in 37 states **shocked face** ... and you won't be surprised to learn that Arizona is still one of them.   For my American readers, in the UK it has been illegal to use a hand held mobile phone while driving, or while stopped with the engine on, since December 2003.  You can be fined £100 and receive 3 penalty points on your license.   From 1st March, this will increase to £200 fine and 6 points on their license.  Take note Arizona - get with the program!

Today though, I saw something that makes all of the aforementioned pale into insignificance.  Ethan and I were driving home from school this afternoon when, as we were waiting at a red light, I happened to glance in my wing mirror at the SUV behind.  I thought I was seeing things at first, but after a swift double take (and also getting Ethan to look through the back window to confirm I that wasn't seeing things), we established that the driver, whilst having her right hand on the steering wheel, was in fact holding a vase of flowers in the other!   Surely, she must have taken them from a passenger for a brief moment whilst stopped at the lights, but after further scrutiny we also established that her passenger seat was empty and that as the lights turned green and we continued along the busy highway, she continued to drive with one hand whilst she clutched her vase of flowers in the other!  Unbelievable!

I should also add here that whilst researching for this post, I found said article to which Mr B had referred.   It actually states that Phoenix, well, Scottsdale to be more precise, is No. 1 in a poll of 'Best cities for driving' (as in amount of traffic, quality of roads etc. etc.), not drivers **rolls eyes**  I also discovered that Arizona is actually ranked 6th in last year's poll of states with the worst drivers ... now that I can believe! (In case you are interested Texas and Louisiana tied for 1st place :-/)

Finally, thought you might like to know that 'quiche-gate' resurfaced as a hot topic this week!  You may recall from a previous post that I made the mistake of making one last year for the Teen's Yearbook class lunch and the teacher and classmates alike have been asking for it ever since!  I'm not sure why ...it was literally just a bog standard Delia Quiche Lorraine ... surely they must have quiche here?  I already made another one for the teacher concerned during Teacher Appreciation week (yes, that's a thing here!), and then another for the Teen to take for his lunches (which lasted all of two days as he had to take in extra slices for his friends) after apparently the subject was raised during French class whilst talking about food ...
"Ethan's Mum makes the BEST quiche!"
This week though, we seem to have reached a new level on the quiche scale ...
"It's Rafaela's birthday on Tuesday ..."
"Mmmm?  Is it ...?" I answered distractedly as we were driving home from school last Friday.
"I thought I would take her in a quiche ..."
"Oh, that's nice .... Wait ... WHAT?!"

Think I might be accidentally losing my quiche tin in the very near future!

Now patiently waiting for Eldest to get here later this evening, although just heard that his plane has gone tech at Heathrow and so it could be a very long night! **sigh**

Have a great week folks and be good to everybody!

TTFN
Bev x

January Blues ... and reds ... and purples ... and oranges!

Hi friends!

How are those New Year's Resolutions going?  Bored yet?  I must say my initial enthusiasm for fresh fruit and vegetables has fallen by the wayside somewhat and has dwindled to a few blueberries and raspberries on my yoghurt for breakfast and an extra slice of lime in my margarita **yawn** .  I have been sticking to my resolve of doing more cooking though and so far have managed to make a home cooked meal every weeknight for the past two weeks ... yay me ... Mr B can't believe his luck!  Think he is already regretting one of his, which was to expand his cooking skills and try a new recipe for dinner every Saturday.  Last week consisted of steak on the grill and some oven chips **rolls eyes**, however, this week he is tackling a Chicken & Ham pie, a la Jamie Oliver.  I have had strict instructions to keep out of the kitchen until it's ready ... just sneaked in to get myself a glass of wine and it is all looking a bit fraught in there with every available surface covered with either flour or an assortment of utensils and dishes.  Have a feeling that next week we may be going out!  Lol.

Whilst the majority of the US has been having some wild weather this week - dangerous ice storms, torrential rain and heavy snow (Northern California alone has had 15 feet of snow in some places and 12 inches of rain!) - here in Arizona we have been basking in the mild mid-60s and even managed 70°F on a couple of days.  There have been a fair few clouds this week though and whilst somewhat grey and gloomy, they have made for some pretty spectacular sunsets and sunrises.

Since we have been in Phoenix, I have witnessed some of the most beautiful sunsets I think I have ever seen anywhere, however, this week they have been particularly stunning both morning and evening.   I have already shared a few snaps on my social media pages, however, my amateur attempts at capturing the beauty on my iPhone from the car window or from the back garden are nothing compared to some of the shots submitted to one of our local news station.  If you're not fed up of looking at them yet, here are a couple more examples shared on their Facebook page ...

Shared by 3TV Phoenix 

Shared by 3TV Phoenix 

So in other news this week,  Techno Teen has now worked out that he can step his gadget multitasking up a notch by wearing his ear buds underneath his headphones, thereby enabling him to listen to the commentary of a You Tube video on his laptop whilst playing a game on his playstation!  This is of course whilst still monitoring Snapchat on his phone.   I have no words.

After managing to escape all forms of exercise at school so far since we moved here, his luck has finally run out, and after taking the classroom based 'Health' course last term, this term is the dreaded
PE rotation, Lol.  On Friday,  Ethan informed me that he spent some time in the gym (they have a fully equipped weight room) working out a circuit for himself and then he played tennis with one of his friends ... well, when I say 'played tennis' I am using the term in the loosest possible manner (he is his mother's son after all).  His friend Dougie, coincidentally also a Brit (and recently moved here from Guernsey to study part time at the affiliated golf academy ... yes, really), valiantly attempted to offer some coaching tips after watching him flail about with the racquet for several minutes hitting nothing but a mosquito with a death wish ...
"See if you can throw it up really high and then try and hit it " he encouraged.  Ethan threw up the ball and waited expectantly,  poised and ready to smash it ...... before missing the ball altogether and merely succeeding in smashing himself over the head with his racquet!  Good grief.
"Erm ... well at least you hit something!"  his friend offered patiently.
I expect next week he'll be suggesting that maybe it would be safer if they just stayed in the gym.   Sadly I fear he has inherited the 'non-sporting' gene from the Sutton side of the family.  I shudder at my own recollections of High School sports lessons which invariably involved freezing to death on a sub zero hockey pitch (for some reason I was always the bloody goalie in those ridiculous big clown shoes and those minging pads which strapped to your legs on bits of elastic that were always too short and left welts round your knees for days), or breaking a nail trying to catch a sodding netball.  Tennis was a rare summer treat to be enjoyed for a few short weeks if by some miracle you managed to finish your hideous needlework project early (a particularly attractive elasticated waist skirt as I recall).  I seem to remember stapling up the hem of mine in an effort to escape early to the tennis courts - not because I was desperate to play tennis but more because there was a conveniently situated hill at the back of the courts behind which you could sit undetected whilst enjoying a crafty cig! (I used to spend the majority of my lunch money on a pack of 10 x No. 6 and a box of matches, leaving just enough for a couple of 'snack tickets' with which you could buy beans on toast or a greasy spam fritter ...  Happy days!

I also learned this week that the US National Debt now amounts to $19.5 trillion!  I don't even know how many noughts that is but I do know it is a phenomenal amount of money!  Allegedly though, in just the past 12 months, the Federal Government has apparently also contributed to this debt by wasting a heap of money on some of the most ridiculous studies I have ever heard of.   Below are a few examples taken from this article ... lol 

• Fish on a treadmill - The National Science Foundation distributed $1.5 million to studying a fish on a treadmill, one of which was a mudskipper fish. It was discovered that the mudskipper fish "exercise longer and recover quicker under higher oxygen concentrations." 
• Hamster Cage Matches - The National Institutes of Health provided $3.4 million to Northeastern University in Boston to have hamsters fight each other in cage matches to examine their "aggression and anxiety." The researchers would even give the hamsters steroids which turned them into "violent, vicious" creatures.
• A study on which gender spends more time playing with Barbie dolls. The study came to the obvious conclusion that girls tended to play with Barbie dolls more often than boys do, as the latter preferred playing with Transformers. No shit Sherlock.  The National Institutes of Health spent $300,000 on this kind of research
• Fraternities and sororities like to party - National Institutes of Health issued a $5 million grant to Brown University to study fraternities and sororities and came to the shocking conclusion that fraternities and sororities consume more alcohol than other college students and people who attend fraternity and sorority parties are more likely to drink alcohol than at other events. 

Well, think that's it for this week.  Thank you for all your feedback and kind words in response to my question last week about future blog postings.  Amazingly, it seems that there is still an appetite for Barlow's Big Adventures and so I will continue with my random ramblings for now but perhaps at a lesser frequency when there is not much going on and therefore nothing much to report.

Have a great week and look forward to seeing you back here next time.

TTFN
Bev x

24 Carrot Magic...!

Hello dear friends - I'm back after a couple of weeks 'blogging break' over the holidays.  Happy New Year to you!

So, I don't know about you, but every January I seem to end up resolving the same things ... eat more fruit and veg, be less wasteful, drink more water etc. etc. and this year is no different (although as I write this it is currently 12.20pm and all I have had to drink so far today is two cups of coffee .. oops ... but water is soooooo boring isn't it?! **she wailed**) I always seem to begin the month full of enthusiasm and come back from the supermarket with a trolley full of fresh produce and then after one meal can't face it again  and so it sits languishing in the fridge until it's time to throw it away, lol!

This year I am determined to try and buy what's in season and make use of every bit, although I think I am on to a loser already to be honest.  Mr B and I made a trip to Costco last weekend as I had a yearning to cook roast lamb on New Year's Day.  I really wanted roast beef however have not been able to find a joint of topside (or even anything remotely similar) here to save my life!  **sulky face**  Whilst we were there we tried to gather all the other ingredients we needed for dinner to save having to go to the supermarket as well on the way back (that is never a good idea on New Year's Eve) and just about managed it.  The only downside was that Costco being Costco, everything came in gigantic quantities ... and there were only three of us for dinner after all.  Still, Mr B pointed out that the price for a gigantic bag of carrots at Costco was hardly more than a smaller bag from the supermarket and so, as I couldn't really fault his logic, we came away with a bag that would keep Bugs Bunny in snacks for months, plus an equally ginormous bag of sprouts;  the same of green beans (which for the record I am sick of already); plus two cartons of fresh berries ... oh and a MASSIVE cooked ham!

... and this was after 4 meals and a huge batch of carrot soup!

Jan 1: So after roast lamb, roast potatoes & butternut squash, Yorkshire pudding (yes, I gave in to the pressure and we had it with lamb ... shock, horror ... sorry Mum) carrots, sprouts, green beans, gravy and mint sauce on Sunday we still had enough Yorkshire pudding batter to make at least a couple of pancakes, half a joint and had hardly even made a dent in the vegetables!  Damn.

Jan 2: Still feeling fairly enthusiastic about my 'no waste' resolution, I made the Teen some pancakes for his breakfast with the rest of the pudding batter & whipped up a Shepherd's Pie with the leftover lamb, which we ate accompanied by ... yes ... carrots and green beans (I couldn't face sprouts two days in a row).  Whilst the pie was in the oven I also roasted the rest of the butternut squash, an onion ... and more bloody carrots ready to make some soup the next day.

Jan 3:  Not feeling quite as enthusiastic, I managed to find a recipe for carrot & butternut squash soup made in the slow cooker ... genius.  I chucked in all the roasted veg with some stock and seasoning and left it to do it's thing.  Have I mentioned how much I LOVE my slow cooker?  ... just checking.   As I opened the fridge to get the stock though, I saw the large tubs of untouched blueberries and raspberries glaring at me accusingly.  Bugger ... I forgot about those.   I checked the cupboards and realizing I already had everything I needed, decided to whip up a batch of granola to eat with the berries and some yoghurt (another over enthusiastic purchase at Costco - still unopened). Inspired!

I have to say though that the soup was soooo good!  Here's the link to the recipe I used if you fancy giving it a go.  Slow Cooker Carrot & Butternut Soup.  The recipe says to finish off with Almond milk, which I didn't have (obviously ... yuk) so I just used a healthy dollop of .... double cream, lol!  It was still a bit thick and so I added a little regular milk until I got the consistency I wanted, however, next time I make it I think I might use some more stock if it still needs thinning out after adding the cream as it was a bit too creamy for me (if there even is such a thing as 'too creamy'!).

I doubled up on quantities (as I had plenty of carrots!) and put half in the freezer for a quick supper another day.

Yum!  (Not my picture - I couldn't be arsed with all the fancy bits on top!)

Jan 4:  Breakfast of yoghurt, granola & fresh berries.  **checks fridge**  Still half a bag of sodding carrots, enough green beans to sink a battleship ... oh god ... and ... half a ton of sprouts **groan**!  Right ... I'm out of ideas.  Managed to find some salmon steaks at the back of the freezer - that will do for tonight's dinner and get rid of a few more of the blighters to go with.  Just as I was dishing up though, I realized that I had actually forgotten to cook the carrots (it was accidental, honest guv!).  Dammit!  Never mind, I'll just pop them back in the fridge and we'll have to have them tomorrow ...

Jan 5:  McDonalds anyone??!  Oh good Lord, but we haven't even started on the ham yet! **weeps quietly into fridge**  The Teen's first day back at school and back to the dreaded task of making the packed lunch ... that'll be a ham roll then ... with a side of carrots .. for the next three weeks!  Deciding I had better use some of that for tonight's dinner, I adapted a trusty Delia recipe and made a cheesy ham and leek pasta bake, however, as it made LOADS, there's now half of that left in the fridge as well!  It's like a scene from the Magic Porridge Pot - every time I open the fridge everything seems to have multiplied!  Incidentally, had just dished up the pasta when Mr B asked where the carrots were that we were supposed to be having with it?   Oh crap!  Forgot them AGAIN!  (ok ... it may not have been entirely accidental this time!)

Jan 6:  Can't even look in the fridge, so we decided on dinner and a movie!

We tried a new place that's just opened in Scottsdale - Hand Cut Burgers and Chophouse which was great, then on to see the movie Fences with Denzel Washington and Viola Davis.

We really enjoyed it, but I have to say it wasn't quite what I was expecting and seemed a bit slow in places (the old biddy next to me was properly snoring and I had to do one of my none too subtle 'coughs' to shut her up!).  I would not be at all surprised though if both Denzel Washington and Viola Davis aren't nominated for Oscars based on their performances, which were both superb.  I would give it 8/10 (oh and take your tissues).

We had originally set out to see Hidden Figures, which just opened last night, however, all seats bar the ones right at the front were already sold out!  Will have to do that one next week perhaps

Finally, a question for you ...

I am in two minds whether or not to continue with the Barlow's Big Adventure blog and have been wondering whether it has now come to it's natural end?  I started it as a way of recording our giant move across the pond and to keep friends and family updated on our adventures as we embarked upon this exciting journey, however, given that we will have now been here for two years at the end of March (I know!  How quickly has that gone?!) I am wondering whether it has lost it's appeal somewhat?  (the blog ... not the adventure!).  I must admit, as we have kind of settled into a new normality, some weeks I really struggle to find things to write about that aren't dull as ditchwater.  What do you all think?  Let me know, as without you, dear readers, it is kind of pointless anyway!

Thanks for stopping by again ... you are appreciated!

TTFN
Bev x

Merry Christmas!

Taking a week off to enjoy some family time and no doubt collect some more material for future posts!

From all of us to all of you, we wish you a very Merry Christmas and a Happy and Healthy New Year!

Birthday Blessings ... !

Hello friends - welcome back! 

So this week another birthday came and went - and one where Ethan took great delight in reminding me at every available opportunity, that I would now qualify for the Senior's discount at Safeway ... cosmic.  At this point I would just like to point out that I have certainly NOT reached my sixties quite yet - apparently 55 is the new 60 as far as the grocery stores around here are concerned and if you are prepared to shop on a Wednesday and battle with Supergran and Captain Birds Eye you can get 10% off your shopping.  Suppose it might be worth doing a booze run on a Wednesday from now on ....

I managed to pack in a fair few birthday celebrations before the weekend was out.  I already mentioned the ABBA factor in last week's edition, but then on Saturday afternoon, Mr B whisked us all off to The Arizona Biltmore to spend the rest of the weekend being waited on and pampered in 1930's Frank Lloyd Wright splendor!  (despite the Teen whining and complaining about having to be being dragged everywhere with parents who were clearly embarrassing behind belief and how he would be quite alright at home on his own ... nice try Sunshine!) 

Wow!  I turned out to be a very lucky girl indeed, especially as Mr B had mentioned it was a birthday treat and the hotel had put us all in the Presdiential Suite!  (The Teen immediately perked up upon discovering that he had his own room and there was free Wifi)

View from our room ...

Nice touch ...

After a few hours lazing by the pool in the warm December sunshine, reading my book and enjoying a late lunch with a margarita (or two), we retired to our 'apartment' to sit on the balcony and enjoy the sunset ... accompanied by the complimentary bottle of red which the hotel had kindly left in our room ... hic!

Beautiful ...!

A little while later, (with grumpy Teen in tow) we headed off to enjoy more drinks outside by the fire before dinner.  What could be better than sitting by a warm fire, next to a sparkly Christmas tree with a glass of bubbly and those who you hold near and dear beside you?  (Well, the addition of Eldest would have made the evening complete but sadly I'll have to wait until February for that :()

After breakfast and a spot of Christmas shopping in the mall next door we headed home to unpack and do a quick change ready for our next event ... the Newcomers Christmas Party.

The Teen had unsurprisingly turned down the invitation to accompany us, declaring that he would rather 'poke himself in the eye with a red hot poker' (rude), a decision which was only reaffirmed when we appeared dressed and ready to go...

Falalallama ...!

I had no idea what the dress code was and suddenly had a vision of Delboy and Rodney bursting into Harry's wake dressed as Batman & Robin as The Barlow's arrived to find everyone in full evening dress, LOL!  Better get out the jingle bell antlers and the flashing lights then to be on the safe side ...

The final event was on Monday, my actual birthday when we went to the cinema to see  Arrival, a sci-fi film about ... well, I'm still not sure what it was about to be honest.  I think it was a film about aliens landing on earth to communicate with humans, but I couldn't be certain.  It was all too far fetched for me.  Give me a nice Rom Com any day of the week ...

This weekend's 'treat' is apparently tickets to the Cardinals NFL game on Sunday afternoon as Mr B has been invited by a business partner and encouraged to bring Mrs B ... oh lucky lucky me!  (Hopefully there will be alcohol involved or else I may be using that red hot poker ... )

Watch this space!

TTFN

Bev x

11 go to Prescott ...!

Hello friends - how are you?  Got all that Christmas shopping done yet?

This week, I went with some of the ladies from Newcomers on a day trip to Prescott to do a spot of Christmas shopping and of course some eating ... and drinking.  Actually it turned out to be mostly eating and drinking as the sum total of my purchases consisted of a large bag of chocolate caramel popcorn and a vintage Christmas ornament!

Gorgeous St Nicholas

We started our day with lunch at The Palace Restaurant & Saloon on Whiskey Row which claims to be the oldest frontier saloon in Arizona and frequented by Wyatt & Virgil Earp and Doc Holliday in the late 1870s.  I also tried Root Beer for the first time.  It tasted a bit like the Dandelion & Burdock we used to have when I was a kid, with a bit of a licorice aftertaste. (we were only allowed 'pop' on special occasions as it was considered a luxury back then, which seems hilarious now when I see it being served like water here, even with breakfast!).   It was slightly odd and not sure I'll be having it again to be honest.  Think I'll just stick with tequila!

Our merry band ... including Booth, Nicole's service dog

It was a really fun day with lots of laughter, notably at the expense of the local candle shop!  Kelly and I, whilst meandering our way towards the next bar meet up **ahem**, thought we would just pop in for a quick butchers (oh sorry, for my American readers that's another Cockney rhyming slang derivative ... butcher's hook = look).  As we had both admitted to being die hard Yankee Candle fans we weren't expecting to be easily converted but we weren't quite prepared for the odd whiff that greeted us as we walked in.   We immediately looked at each other wrinkling our noses.  

"Hi Ladies!  Welcome in!" trilled the over enthusiastic shop assistant (who looked about 12).  "Have you been to our candle shop before?"

"Er ... no" we responded as we passed each other a look that clearly said we wouldn't be coming again either.  As Kelly rightly remarked, usually when you walked into a scented candle shop your senses would be bombarded with all kinds of slightly overpowering scents ... cinnamon, lavender, rose etc.  This was more ... how shall I describe it ... 

"Wax crayons!" 

Thank you Kelly ... that was exactly it!  That set us off giggling like a couple of naughty school girls.  The shop assistant, who was clearly struggling to meet her sales targets for the day as the shop was empty apart from the two of us - can't think why **raises eyebrow sarcastically**, continued,

"All our candles are made from pure essential oils and beeswax..."  Well, I'm not sure where the essential oils were from as we couldn't smell anything vaguely pleasant.  Oil or Olive perhaps? Or maybe Vegetable?

"Turn the candles over and smell the bottom ...". she continued

Kelly and I now standing by a display of drab looking candles each picked one up and turned it over,  and cautiously sniffed as instructed.

"What does yours smell like?" Kelly asked as barely managing to stifle a giggle

"Brown crayon.  How about yours?"

"Blue crayon"

Well that did it.  We could hold back no longer and as we howled with laughter we stole a glance at said shop assistant.  Not even a hint of a smile as she glared at us stony faced.    As we edged our way to the door ... I literally had tears rolling down my face ... Kelly made a desperate attempt to explain our mirth, but sour-faced Sally at the till wasn't having any of it and continued to look like she had several slices of lemon stuffed in her mouth.  

Finally, just as our escape route was in reach, we spotted the display of dog shaped candles. Uh-oh. I can honestly say that that was the first time I have ever sniffed a dog's bottom in public, which funnily enough smelled like ... a dog shaped wax crayon!  Hilarious.

We needed a drink after that and made our way back to Whiskey Row to meet some of the others for a much deserved Margarita at the Jersey Lilly Saloon (I know it should have been Whiskey but I can't stand the stuff) 

Kelly ... my partner in crime

It's 5 o'clock somewhere ... Cheers!

After more drinking ... and a bit more shopping, we piled back in the minivan and headed back to Scottsdale were we stopped for dinner and er .. more drinks .. before heading home.  What a day!  Special mention and thanks also to the other Bev sorting out the van and for driving us all the way there and back again (she's the one in the middle in the photo above ... with the Margarita :D)

On Monday I will be celebrating my 55th birthday (a fact which Ethan is finding hilarious as here in Arizona most of the supermarkets and some other stores also offer a 'Senior's discount' at 55 ... bloody cheek!) and so we started a weekend of celebrations last night with the first of Mr B's organized activities, tickets for Mamma Mia - the Musical at ASU Gammage in Phoenix.  Whilst admittedly, Abba were an extremely popular and talented group in their day,  they were never really my cup of tea.  I was always more of a Blondie, T Rex and U2 fan myself.  Oh but wait ... aren't they one of Mr B's favorites?!  Yes.  Yes they are.  Hmmmmm .....

Mamma Mia indeed!

To be fair, it was a really good show and I had a great time, despite the woman in front insisting on singing along to every single number and bopping up and down in her seat so hard that it made the whole row shake **rolls eyes**.

Well, there is another treat in store today apparently, so had better get my skates on as we are leaving in precisely 4 minutes I have been informed ....

Hope you all have a great week and look forward to seeing you again next time

TTFN
Bev x

Don't get your tinsel in a tangle ...!

Howdy Folks!  How have you been this week?   Have you started the dreaded christmas tree decorating yet?  We have got all ours up now and I have to say it is beginning to look a lot like Christmas Chez Barlow!

Ugh ... another tangle to sort out

Before we moved to Arizona, we always had a real Christmas tree, but this will now be the second year we have had a 'fake' tree.   I was very skeptical at first, but I have to say that it does make it sooooo much easier!  There is no phaffing about for ages trying to make sure it sits straight in the pot, and even better, as it's a prelit version the dreaded job of trying to get the lights on evenly is not required either.  This year, I even found real pine scented little snowflakes that you hang on the tree from Yankee Candle which make it smell authentic too so there really is no contest.   The 'fake' tree wins hands down!  

Went for the multicolored option this year (another benefit of the fake tree ... you can change the lights to whatever color you want :)

In other news, two stories caught my eye in the news this week, which made a welcome change from all the presidential fall out that is still rumbling on ... yawn.

Firstly, the news that Japan are apparently training reindeer to deliver Dominos pizza in the remote snowy areas during the winter.   Firstly, would they not eat it on the way? wouldn't it take for ever to arrive? surely it would be cold. Have you seen the size of an actual reindeer?  I would be totally  freaked out to open my front door to find a giant snorting animal with antlers and a pepperoni and cheese round it's neck.  And finally, and most importantly, is Rudolph allowed to be moonlighting?  What happens if he gets held up on Christmas Eve?  Santa would not be pleased ...

"Right lads, time to hook up the sleigh.  Hang on ... where's Rudolph?"

"Oh, he's out on a pizza delivery Guvnor ..."

The second story which literally had me crying with laughter in the car on the way back from the school run involved squirrels and the notion that they are staging a rebellion.  

You may recall (or maybe not as it probably didn't make the news across the Pond) that there was the story in the news last month of a squirrel who got into the residents lounge of retirement center in Florida and caused mayhem when it apparently 'went crazy' biting and scratching people ...  (that was not the thing that had me crying with laughter btw - I'm not a monster).

Following on from that, a couple of weeks ago, a Chicago politician went on a rant about aggressive squirrels who were apparently taking over the city ... chewing through garbage cans and costing the council a fortune in replacements etc. etc.  Well, this week, that same councillor was cycling along the local trail when a 'suicide bomber' squirrel leapt out in front of him and got caught in the spokes of his front wheel causing him to fly over the handlebars of his bike.   He is currently in hospital with a broken nose, fractured skull and a handful of missing teeth!   Thankfully though he will be ok but you couldn't make it up could you?!  You can read the full story here https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/morning-mix/wp/2016/11/22/suicide-bomber-squirrel-hospitalizes-chicago-politician-who-spoke-out-against-squirrels/?utm_term=.a09f0219b01e

Don't even think about messing with us ...

Finally, this week, Ethan and I encountered another spot of bother at the drive through as a result of our British accents, well, mine anyway.   I think I have mentioned previously that anything that is based on voice recognition does not seem to work for us over here as they are all clearly programmed to expect an American accent and anything that deviates from that, no matter how subtle,  does not seem to compute.  (I believe I mentioned in a previous post that using the Voice Recognition on the car GPS was another epic fail, and the instruction to take us to 'Scottsdale Quarter', a well known shopping area, resulted in the navigation to 'Scottsdale Pawn Shop'!)

As Mr B and I were going out to the 'Luminaries' at the Desert Botanical Gardens last night (and Ethan would rather eat his left arm) he voted for a McDonalds for his tea.  As we drove in to collect it, I asked him what he wanted.

"... a medium No. 7 meal, but I don't need a drink as I'll have one at home" which translated to plastic chicken nuggets and some fries... yuk.

Voice at Drive Through: "How can I help you today?"

"Can we have a medium No. 7 meal please?"

"OK.  Would you like large or medium?"

"Er ... medium please"

"OK.  What drink would you like with that?"

"No drink, thank you"

"Sorry, what drink?"

"No drink thank you.  Just the chicken nuggets and medium fries."

"Oh, OK, got it.  Please proceed to the next window."

Arrive at next window to find another employee passing a medium Sprite to us through the window ...

"Erm ... we said no drink thank you?"

"Oh ... you didn't order a medium Sprite?"

"No. Just the nuggets and medium FRIES"

"Oh right.  Well the meal comes with a drink.  What drink would you like?"

"No drink thank you." (bizarrely still cheaper than buying individually)

"Oh.  Would you like some apple slices instead?"

"No thank you."

"How about a bottle of water?"

"No thank you."  Hands bag over ... check in bag .... no fries. "We still need a medium fries?"

"Oh, you want the medium Sprite?"

"NO!!  JUST THE FRIES!"  Good God!  It shouldn't be this hard should it?!

The Luminaries at the Desert Botanical Garden

Hope you all manage to have a stress free week ... and good luck getting those lights right on that tree! Send me a picture of your finished tree - I would love to see them.

TTFN

Bev x

SaveSave

Forest Fun ... (or not, depending on who you ask!)

Hello friends!

I hope all those that celebrated enjoyed a Happy Thanksgiving and managed to make it home alive if you braved the shops on Black Friday!  Personally, I can think of nothing worse - I hate crowded shops, loathe queuing even more and if I had my eye on something specific would much rather order it online from the comfort of my sofa with a glass of wine - much more civilized!  Don't get me wrong - I love a bargain as much as the next person, however, the timing of Black Friday always seems rather comical to me when I see pictures on TV of  hoards of people trampling each other (literally to death a couple of years ago!) and fighting in the aisles over cheap goods just hours after being thankful for what they already have.   No thanks.  I think I'll wait for one of the other 927 sales that seem to happen here almost weekly.

This year, as Ethan's 'Fall Break' coincides with Thanksgiving and Mr B has had another crazy schedule of traveling over the last couple of months, we decided on a relaxing week in a cabin up at Pinetop, a small town up in the 'high country' of NE Arizona to do nothing but spend time together as a family - eating, drinking, playing games and getting outside to enjoy the fresh cool air of the White Mountains (a welcome change from the record heat we have had for the past 6 months) - just how every 14 year old boy wants to spend his school holidays right?!  Lol.

What?!? ... no signal?!  My life is over.

We have actually stayed at this resort before.  6 years ago in fact, whilst on holiday from the U.K.  Never in a million years did I think that a few years later we would be making our home just a short 3 hours drive away!   You never know what's around the corner do you, which I think is what makes life such a fabulous adventure. 

On our first morning we looked for somewhere to continue our Sunday brunch ritual and were directed to a place called Darbi's, 5 minutes down the road.  It was a very homely place and clearly popular with the locals - one of whom seated at the next table to us was also proudly displaying his right to the 2nd amendment.  I have to say I didn't feel entirely comfortable gazing at a holstered pistol whilst trying to enjoy my breakfast, however,  I did find it slightly hilarious when the waitress delivered his order to watching a large gun toting cowboy sitting alone at a table tucking into ....  Desperate Dan size steak and eggs?  Bacon, sausage & grits (bleugh by the way)?  ... No.  A bowl of yoghurt with granola and fresh berries!  Obviously a healthy cowboy.

I opted for the more traditional eggs, bacon & hash browns, which came with a choice of biscuits & sausage gravy, toast or pancakes.  I thought I would go with the biscuits and gravy as I haven't had these yet  ... and I can report that it is unlikely that I will be having them again!  Whilst the 'biscuits' themselves were ok (a cross between a scone and a dumpling I guess), if a little on the dry side (hence I suppose the gravy), the 'gravy' was more like a luke warm tin of Campbells mushroom soup poured over the top ... ugh!  (and probably not too far from the reality as tins of Campbells soup seem to feature heavily in a lot of recipes I have seen here!)

Bleuugghh!

The Teen decided on a breakfast burrito - a flour tortilla filled with cheddar cheese, scrambled egg, green chilis, hash browns and bacon.   From being a toddler, Ethan has always turned his nose up at eggs and would never eat them.  Since we moved here though, he surprised us both by announcing one Sunday that he would try an omelette, promptly pronouncing it as 'delicious'!  He had refused to expand his egg repertoire any further though until today's breakfast burrito.

"Oh.  It tastes just like omelette!" he announced after the first tentative bite.  Well, who'd have thought.  **face palm**

After we had finished stuffing out faces we embarked on our first hike of the week along the Mogollon Rim Trail.  Ethan kept us entertained by reading out each informative sign we came across in the voice of Brian Cox, complete with northern accent - hilarious!  Interestingly, it seems that the Ponderosa Pine, which featured heavily on our walk, has the largest population here in Arizona of anywhere in the world.  No small feat for somewhere you automatically associate with the desert.  

Also, co-habitating happily beside the pines were both Aligator & Utah juniper trees (I immediately thought of you Donna!) which is unusual apparently as both types of tree generally require very different types of habitat.  

Aligator Juniper

Utah Juniper 

 Anyway, botony lesson over.  

The next day we woke up to pouring rain so after a lazy morning catching up on some reading and Mr B's obligatory visit to the gym **rolls eyes** we decided on a trip to the local cinema to see Fantastic Beasts & Where To Find Them followed an early dinner at the local steak house. 

Well, when I said we went to the movies to escape the rain, that wasn't entirely accurate!  Halfway through the film there was a strange noise that got louder and louder.  I looked across at Ethan who clearly thinking I had morphed into some neurotic old dear, whispered "it's ok, it's just rain on the roof".  A few minutes later, very realistic sound effects of a full blown waterfall could be heard coming from down at the front of the theater ... I was confused ... there was no water scene in the film?  After another minute or so I realised that it was an actual waterfall as rain poured through the roof!  Nobody else seemed to bat an eyelid though - weird!  The film was great viewing by the way although don't go expecting it to be like Harry Potter.  It is connected yes, but is quite different and as this is the first of reportedly a series of 5, it builds up the story gradually leaving you ready for the next one  - especially after the introduction of one of my favorite actors at the end (I won't spoil it for you if you are still planning to see it but he was made to be in this series!).   Afterwards, we stopped off at Charlie Clark's, the local steak house, for an early dinner.  Hmmmm ...  disappointing to say the least ...  but then as I am not easy to please as I love to cook and love to eat,  and therefore am really fussy when I eat out.   I really resent paying a fortune for something that I could have made better myself at home for a fraction of the price (but clearly I wasn't at home and just wanted to eat a tasty dinner that I hadn't had to make myself).  The salad tasted of stagnant pond water, the steak had a very odd earthy flavour, my mashed potato was cold and the peppercorn sauce which accompanied it was a lukewarm congealed mass with a skin on top which wobbled in the gravy boat it arrived in.  Yuk! I can feel a Yelp review coming on as we speak ...

The next day awoke to blue skies and sunshine again and we had planned to go to Fort Apache, which was a short car ride away, however, after chatting to the resort manager when we popped in to get a map who told us there wasn't really much to see, we decided to give it a miss in favour of a forest hike just at the back of the resort instead.  It was a 4 mile loop and whilst it was nice to be out in the fresh air getting some exercise, I have to say it was a little monotonous (or in the words of The Teen ... "boring as").

" ... is that Fort Apache?"

"shoot me now ...!"

We were all tired and muddy when we got back and so opted to cook burgers on the grill on the decking rather than going out, although what Mr B thought he looked like when he ventured out to cook later that evening I do not know!

Bobby Flay never looks like this when he does BBQ! ... 

Wednesday's adventure was a trip to explore the Petrified Forest National Park.  Ethan was beyond thrilled.  

... when you're a Teen and have to go sightseeing with your Mum & Dad

Sport the bored 14 yr old - "I'll just wait here ..."

The Petrified Forest is known for its fossils, especially fallen trees that lived in the late Triassic period, about 225 million years ago!  It was incredible to see what were once these huge trees now littered across a vast area, crystallized into hard rocky quartz.  Some of the colors were amazing and photographs didn't really seem to do it justice.

Petrified Wood

The landscape changed in each direction you looked and you could be forgiven for thinking you might had inadvertently fallen through a black hole and landed on some obscure planet ...

From rocky outcrops ...

miles of deserted plains ...

strange rocks that looked like giant sandcastles (called 'the teepees')

and rocks covered with ancient petroglyphs ...

created by Puebloan people living along the Puerco River between 650 and 2,000 years ago!

The petrified forest finally gave way to the area known as the Painted Desert, which was equally beautiful and well worth a visit if you are ever in the area (but maybe not if you are a 14 yr old boy!)

Painted Desert

Finally, on Thanksgiving itself, we attempted a full roast turkey dinner, cooked in the tiny cabin kitchen which turned out surprisingly well considering the limited cooking utensils and amount of space available!   Just before dinner Marcus popped across to the Resort Reception to see if he could get more dishwasher detergent (a must after a big roast!) and came back to advise that Christopher, the young duty manager, was working until 7pm and then going home to spend the evening in the company of his 14 yr old dog :(  We all felt a bit sorry for him and so as we probably had enough food to feed the entire resort (Northern habits die hard!) I plated up one extra and sent Marcus back with it.  Hope he liked sprouts! :D

Now back home to reality, 4 loads of laundry and a week's worth of mail to open ... oh look another letter from the IRS addressed to Ethan.
"Dear Mr Barlow, unfortunately your request for a Tax Identification Number has been rejected due to insufficient identification records ..... "  
OMFG!!!!!!!!  What is wrong with these people?!?  To be continued no doubt after Mr B wastes another half day trying to get through to someone with half a brain on Monday morning ...

Have a good week friends and see you next time
TTFN
Bev x