New York, New York ...

"New York, New York.  So good they named it twice ..."  Really? Without wishing to upset my American readers, I just don't get it.  Last week was the third time I have visited the Big Apple and quite frankly my opinion hasn't changed since the first visit back in 2007.  Admittedly, that was a work trip and other than my hotel room and a few restaurants in the evenings, I didn't get to see too much else, so gave it the benefit of the doubt.  The second visit was in 2009, when Mr B and I spent a long weekend there to celebrate our 10th Wedding Anniversary.  We managed to take in most of the main sites and whilst we enjoyed the trip, neither of us could really see why people raved about New York?  Granted, it was October and the weather was cold and rainy, so when Mr B had to visit again last week on business and asked whether Ethan and I wanted to go along, I decided to give it one more chance.  After all, It was probably much nicer in the springtime right?  Wrong.  It was .. er ... cold and rainy.  To be fair, it was sunny & warm the afternoon we arrived and as we were staying in the financial district, we managed to get out for a walk along the waterfront in the late afternoon sunshine and witnessed a beautiful orange sunset set against the fabulous city skyline.  The next day, Sunday, whilst cooler and breezy, wasn't too bad either and we managed to fit in the obligatory touristy visits to the Statue of Liberty & Ellis Island (where comment of the day from Ethan after bemoaning the fact that he had no 4G signal on his phone was "OMG! how did those immigrants stand it with no wifi?!").  We also managed to squeeze in a visit to the the 9/11 Memorial, which was actually very moving, and gaze up at the impressive 104 storey Freedom Tower of One World Trade Centre, before a stroll down Wall Street.  Right, well, that's most of the sights done.  What on earth are Ethan and I going to do for the next 4 days whilst Mr B is at work?!   

We awoke on Monday morning to torrential rain and so thought that maybe an indoor activity would be the most sensible option.  Ethan voted for a visit to  Mme Tussaud's in Times Square, as he had always wanted to go to the one in London but we could never be bothered to queue (we are so similar in that respect!).  As we were staying right down in the Financial District, we decided that the quickest way of getting anywhere was going to be the subway and set about running to the nearest one (yes, it was still raining) in an effort to stay as dry as we possibly could under monsoon conditions. This proved to be easier for some of us than others as two minutes after we had left the hotel, Ethan stepped in a puddle of epic proportions (think Dawn French in Vicar of Dibley) completely submerging one of his trainers and socks, hence having to put up with soaking wet feet for the rest of the day!  After buying our tickets and working out which side of the track we needed to be on (trust me, that was a challenge in itself) we managed to board a train, which was amazingly headed in the right direction.  Five minutes into our journey, at one of the subsequent stops, our carriage was joined by a 50-something African-American man, who proceeded to tell his tale of woe to the captive audience and then walk up and down the carriage holding out a brown paper bag for donations.  This has obviously become the latest trend as begging goes as on our next three subway journeys we encountered similar experiences (although, at least two of them tried to sing for their supper and attempted a gospel number as they handed round their paper bag ... I don't think we will be seeing them on The Voice any time soon though).

As we finally reached our stop, we jumped off, somewhat relieved, and headed back up to daylight ... and more rain.  As we rounded the corner we suddenly found ourselves walking behind a rather large (read morbidly obese) hairy man, with a wild beard and a pot belly, wearing nothing but a skimpy pink floral thong bikini (which left nothing to the imagination!) and the inscription 'Holly' tattooed on his forehead!!  (Ethan was at this point trying to shield his eyes muttering he had been scarred for life).  Dear God!

We thankfully made it to Mme Tussaud's without further incident and after a couple of hours looking at largely outdated and often poor 'lookey-likeys' we decided we weren't impressed and it was time to leave.

After a mediocre, over-priced lunch, and as the rain had started to ease off a little, we walked on to Nintendo World, the Rockerfeller Center, 5th Avenue & FAO Schwartz before a soggy detour through Central Park and finally back on the subway to the hotel, wet, tired and desperately missing the Arizona sunshine ... And we still had 3 more full days to fill!

We filled the next couple of days with trips up the Empire State Building ... Ethan was mildly impressed ... and to Maceys ... where he definitely wasn't ...and then a City Tour, both Uptown and Downtown, which we actually both enjoyed most of all.  The tour guide informimg us that you either loved New York or hated it and there was no in between ... well, I'm sorry New York, I gave it my best shot, but I'm afraid you're just not for me.

It's life Gym, but not as we know it ...!

OK ... so now that we have been here for three weeks, I decided that it was time we got back to some kind of normality and stopped acting as it we were on an extended holiday.  Although as Ethan can't start school until after the summer holidays, (they break up in a few weeks time until mid-August!), this is going to be quite hard as technically he is on an extended holiday!  

Now you may recall that Mr B had recently coerced Ethan and I into buying new trainers and workout gear in the hope that we could be encouraged to start some form of exercise, **bleugh!** (he of course it still up at 5am every morning going for a run or doing his circuit training before work ... yawn).  So far though they were still lying in pristine condition folded neatly in a drawer (#exercisedodgers), however after all the food and drink we have consumed lately, we reluctantly agreed that maybe it was time we checked out the onsite gym after all.  We resolved to give it a whirl the next morning, preferably when everyone else had gone off to work thus reducing the potential for any snickering at our inadequacies and inability to use any of the new fangled torture contraptions they had in there (the only machines I was familiar with at a gym were the ones that doled out crisps and chocolate .. **snort**).  What had seemed like such a good idea the previous evening however (with glass of wine in hand), was not looking quite so appealing in the cold light of day, but despite Ethan's ever hopeful pleas that 'maybe we should start tomorrow?', we stuck to our guns (see what I did there? ... ha, like that will ever happen), reluctantly donning our strange lycra outfits and headed across the courtyard to the gym.  

We decided we shouldn't exert ourselves too much on the first day (after all it was Monday) and set ourselves a goal of just 20 minutes on one of the running machine thingamajigs.  Well ... when I say 20 minutes ... in my case 5 minutes of that was taken up trying to work out how to switch the bloody machine on and at least another 5 trying to decide which channel to watch on the TV ...  in case you're interested I opted for Rachael Ray and Ethan The Real Housewives of New York (we were so made to live in the U.S).  There was just one other person in there when we arrived, but for some reason he left a few minutes later ... quite possibly due to the racket we were making as we periodically dissolved into fits of hysterics and 'shouted' to each other over our headphones.  So, after a gentle stroll for all of 10 minutes, I was all done and even managed not to get sweaty ... Result! Piece of cake this exercise lark, don't know what all the fuss is about.  

I have to report that Ethan did a much better job, setting off at almost a jog from the start and increasing the incline to what looked akin to climbing Mount Kilimanjaro ... no thanks ... far too energetic for me.  When our 20 minutes was up, the machine helpfully calculated how far we had 'run' **ahem**, how many calories we had burnt and what our average heart rate was.  Now ... let's see ... surely I should have worked off enough for a nice lunch out somewhere ... Oh. Apparently I have burnt 89 calories.  I can treat myself to one Oreo biscuit with my coffee. CosmIc. Ethan also thought it was hilarious that my average heart rate reading was noted as '0', remarking "I think you're dead." Cheers. Well, no point over exerting myself on the first visit is there?

The next day Mr B headed off to Miami on business leaving us home alone for the next 3 days... unsupervised ... with credit cards and the car ... Wahoo!   I asked Ethan if he would like me to take him to go and buy the new Playstation he had saved up for, and after a brief moment of hesitation when he realised that I would have to drive ... charming ... the lure of a new gadget proved too much for him to resist and he quickly agreed.  After a spot of online research, we decided to head for a Best Buy store, asking our ever helpful GPS lady to find the nearest and direct us there pronto. After a mild panic when she navigated us onto the main 101 Freeway (I was going off her already) - like Silverstone with crap drivers that can overtake on both sides and gigantic trucks that cause mini earthquakes as they thunder by - we finally made it safely to our exit and GPS lady announcing "you have reached your destination on the right" as we pulled into the adjacent retail centre. See? Easy.  Except we couldn't see a Best Buy anywhere.  Hmm, maybe we missed it.  After driving up and down several times we determined that if there ever had been a Best Buy at this location there definitely wasn't one now and so slightly irritated, set about searching for another one.  Ok. Don't panic.  It says there's another one 3 miles away - we'll head off to that one, obeying GPS lady once more as she instructed "Turn left onto E Shea Boulevard".  Ok, done.  Now what? "Where possible,  make a U turn" ... sorry, what? "Where possible make a U turn".  Now increasingly irritated, we discovered that every filter lane for the next umpteen miles was marked 'No U turns allowed' and all the while GPS lady, who had now turned into shouty GPS lady, barked "MAKE A U TURN AT THE NEXT AVAILABLE EXIT!" every 30 seconds.  Alright, alright!! I'm bloody well looking for one, you useless b*#%!!!  Ethan was by now shifting uncomfortably in his seat, adding helpful remarks such as "er ... keep calm Mum ... you're doing really well" and "I'm sure it wasn't all your fault...".  Finally, we managed to turn around and get back on track and 10 minutes later, a slightly less shouty GPS lady, announced once again "you have reached your destination on the right". Halle-bloody-lulah!  Hang on.  Where was Best Buy? Could we see one?  Could we buggery! Oh, for God's sake!  By now 'irritated' no longer came close ...  majorly pi**ed off was a more accurate description!  Thankfully, just as I was ready to launch into a further string of expletives, cursing at how utterly useless GPS lady had actually been, Ethan spotted a Costco, hastily suggesting that perhaps we should just go and look there ... and after making a brief acquaintance with the car wash (don't ask) we finally "arrived at our destination".  Mission accomplished (don't know why we didn't just think think to go there in the first place), we were soon back in the car and headed back home with said games console (which Ethan wisely opted to set up without asking for any assistance from me!).  Success at last!

As I write this we are currently in-flight on our way to New York, (this time accompanying Mr B on another one of his business trips), so who knows what mayhem we can cause there whilst he is at the office?!  Come back next week to find out!

Finally, you will no doubt be surprised to hear that we did in fact manage a second trip to the gym this week and this time I burnt enough calories for ............. 2 Oreos! #hardlyworththeeffort.

Eating our way around Scottsdale!

Well ... I can't believe we have been here for two weeks already!  Where has the time gone? This week has once again whizzed by yet we seem to have packed so much in.  

Last weekend we drove a couple of hours north to see the red rocks of Sedona. Ethan's verdict - "another pile of old rocks, except this time they're red ...".  Whilst I can kind of see his point, I thought they were stunning!

On Tuesday we moved from the hotel we had been staying in, to a gorgeous furnished apartment down at the Scottsdale Waterfront ... well, when I say 'waterfront' ... it's not really how I would would have defined it.  Waterfront makes me think lake/marina/ocean ... this is really more small canal, bizarrely covered with brightly coloured plastic water lilies (no, I don't know why either). That aside though, it is a fabulous location filled with lots of excellent restaurants, bars & speciality shops, all within walking distance from our apartment, plus it also happens to be right across the road from Fashion Square - the largest shopping mall in Scottsdale! Result! Yes, I think this will do nicely for the next few weeks.

Whilst Mr B has been at the office this week, Ethan and I have not been idle ... oh no ... we have been out with the Realtor viewing more potential house rentals.  We have looked at another 10 properties this week out of which, disappointingly, only one was even a possible.  Those who know me well will know that I am notoriously hard to please, especially when it comes to kitchens and bathrooms - I can spot a speck of mouldy grouting a mile off and one whiff of a greasy oven will have me running for the door faster than you can say Mr Muscle!  One had dodgy carpets in a muddy brown, reminiscent of a shaggy wet dog complete with equally dubious stains - ugh;  another was painted in a hideous dark mustard colour in nearly every room - yuk; and then another, which was looking very promising until we looked out of the bedroom window into next door's garden and discovered something resembling a teenage skate park, complete with a (very) well used half pipe, floodlights & stadium style seating!  Er ... no thanks.  Finally though, we did see one which, as Mary Poppins would say, was practically perfect in every way.  Eureka!  Now we just have to hope that we can jump through the right hoops to secure it.  Appointment tomorrow to review and sign paperwork, so fingers crossed!

We finally received our new US cellphones this week (one of which was Ethan's 13th birthday present which he has been patiently waiting for since his birthday in early March!) and after the initial frustration of trying to sync with existing iCloud backups and move our iTunes accounts from the UK to the US store (that's two hours of my life that I will never get back!) Ethan and I spent a very amusing evening selecting our new ringtones.  After entertaining ourselves with the various Minion offerings, we set about finding one to identify when Mr B was calling.  Hmmm, now let's see ... Star Wars? The arrival of Darth Vadar? ... maybe ... oh no, hang on ... after the episode at the Bank last week, it HAS to be this one ... the James Bond theme tune! Perfect! :

Our pledge to spend more time together as a family has also continued this week with our new Friday night tradition of going out en famille for early Happy Hour drinks (which over here seems to start at 3pm and last until 6 or 7!) and dinner.  Last week was Mexican at Blanco Tacos & Tequila (my headache the following morning confirmed that this had indeed been a good night!); this week's choice was Kona Grill for a cocktail (or three) and sushi, which Ethan had asked to try.  I must say I have been amazed at the way in which he has embraced the diverse cuisine here in Scottsdale, trying lots of new foods that I would never have got him to go near back in England!  Add to this a lovely afternoon spent with our friend John, who introduced Ethan and I to the delights of The Gelato Spot in Old Scottsdale and you could be forgiven for thinking that all we have done this week was eat and drink! **coughs nervously and attempts to look innocent**

Today we spent a lovely day today at the Scottsdale Culinary Festival, where we participated in ... er ... more eating ... trying lots of different food from local restaurants ... and sat in the warm sunshine watching the various bands performing some great music sipping a cold beer ... or two.  A perfect end to the week!

Stop Press! Bond opens account at Bank of America!

So after having the weekend to settle ourselves in to the hotel that was to be our temporary home for the next 10 days, we were met once again by the lovely Merylee who collected us first thing Monday and took us to the Social Security office to apply for our SS numbers (without which you can do pretty much nothing). After Merylee advised that she had been there with other clients the previous Monday and it had taken over 3 hours as there were only 2 windows open and 110 people in line before them ...

What?!

...  I was expecting the worst but luckily, as we had arrived early we were in and out in less than half an hour and it was all quite painless. Phew!  Now we just had to wait a week for our cards to arrive :/

Next, on to Bank of America to open checking and savings accounts.  At this rate we will be done in no time right? .... Wrong. As it turned out.

We were greeted by a seemingly helpful, and very enthusiastic staff member ... lets call her Jane ... who bounced over and invited us to take a seat at her desk whilst we relayed our requirements - checking & savings accounts for ourselves and Ethan. 

"Oh, I don't think he will be able to have a checking account".  

"Why not?" 

"He has to be 16."  

"Really?"

"Yes, sorry.  He can have a savings account with an ATM card"

"Erm ... Well that's not really what he needs.  He wants a card that he can use to make direct purchases.  We are also trying to teach him to learn to manage his own money and he has saved quite a lot to replace his games consoles etc.  Surely he doesn't have to have draw large amounts of cash from the ATM every time he wants to buy something?"

"Well, he can use it at Frys" she enthused.

"What's Frys?"

"A grocery store"

Oh right.  I am sure that will be very useful for a 13 year old boy.  I bet he will be chomping at the bit to get in there every weekend and spend his pocket money on a sliced loaf and a packet of Cheerios. 

Despite Merylee commenting that her grandson, who is also 13, has his own checking account at BofA, Jane was still having none of it, claiming that it must have been an exception and that she had 'tried to do one before and got her hand slapped'. Just as I was thinking she would be getting more than her hand slapped in a minute, we were joined by Kevin, a younger, but seemingly more senior colleague of Jane.

"Kevin, can he have a checking account?"

"Yup"

"Well, he's only 13"

"Yup, that's fine."

Go Kevin.  Now you may be thinking it was all plain sailing from here on in.  Sadly, you would be wrong. **sigh**

Jane then went on to explain that she had a dual role at the bank and was also a financial advisor ... uh oh ... and then proceeded to launch into a long spiel about financial services regulations and how she was obliged to tell us all of this before she could continue blah blah blah ... none of which was relevant to our requirements. I was rapidly losing the will to live.

When we finally managed to steer her back to the purpose of our visit she advised that the bank systems had all gone down and they were waiting for them to come back on line so she wouldn't be able to open any new accounts at the moment. Aaaaarrrgh!!!!

Just as my hands were making their way towards her throat and Merylee about to suggest we try another bank, Kevin reappeared and said that he would be happy to set up our accounts the old fashioned way, using paper forms, if we didn't mind moving over to his desk?  Mind?! I would have happily moved into the broom cupboard if it meant escaping from Jittery Jane.
We managed to complete all the required paperwork without further incident, well, apart from Kevin's raised eyebrows when he asked Mr B's what his email address was and he had to spell out in a suddenly deathly quiet bank ... marcus.barlow007. Oh God. 

Kevin then turned his attention to me and with a twinkle in his eye, quipped

"Your turn now Moneypenny ..."

Thank God for Kevin. A sense of humour at last!

Finally, 2 hours after we had entered, we left with shiny new bank accounts.

As we headed back to the car guess who was waiting to ambush us? Yup. Jittery Jane!  She was boring some other poor woman to death outside the bank with a can of red bull in hand (Ethan astutely remarked that that was the last thing she needed however it probably explained a lot!) and came beavering over to remind us that if we needed any financial advice then she would be more than happy to help bore us into submission - no thanks.

Wednesday 1st April, and Mr B's first day at his new office.  As well as being April Fool's Day it was also 26 years to the day that he started his very first job at American Express - an irony that was not lost on Ethan and I, particularly when he came home and told us that he had dropped his first "Tickety boo" in the office this week and was amazed that it had been met with a sea of confused faces and mutterings of 'Tickety what??' Bless. If only they knew that that is just the first of many.  Wait till he gets to 'top banana' ...!

Wishing you a very Happy Easter weekend and hope you all have a choctastic day today!