Stop Press! Bond opens account at Bank of America!

So after having the weekend to settle ourselves in to the hotel that was to be our temporary home for the next 10 days, we were met once again by the lovely Merylee who collected us first thing Monday and took us to the Social Security office to apply for our SS numbers (without which you can do pretty much nothing). After Merylee advised that she had been there with other clients the previous Monday and it had taken over 3 hours as there were only 2 windows open and 110 people in line before them ...

What?!

...  I was expecting the worst but luckily, as we had arrived early we were in and out in less than half an hour and it was all quite painless. Phew!  Now we just had to wait a week for our cards to arrive :/

Next, on to Bank of America to open checking and savings accounts.  At this rate we will be done in no time right? .... Wrong. As it turned out.

We were greeted by a seemingly helpful, and very enthusiastic staff member ... lets call her Jane ... who bounced over and invited us to take a seat at her desk whilst we relayed our requirements - checking & savings accounts for ourselves and Ethan. 

"Oh, I don't think he will be able to have a checking account".  

"Why not?" 

"He has to be 16."  

"Really?"

"Yes, sorry.  He can have a savings account with an ATM card"

"Erm ... Well that's not really what he needs.  He wants a card that he can use to make direct purchases.  We are also trying to teach him to learn to manage his own money and he has saved quite a lot to replace his games consoles etc.  Surely he doesn't have to have draw large amounts of cash from the ATM every time he wants to buy something?"

"Well, he can use it at Frys" she enthused.

"What's Frys?"

"A grocery store"

Oh right.  I am sure that will be very useful for a 13 year old boy.  I bet he will be chomping at the bit to get in there every weekend and spend his pocket money on a sliced loaf and a packet of Cheerios. 

Despite Merylee commenting that her grandson, who is also 13, has his own checking account at BofA, Jane was still having none of it, claiming that it must have been an exception and that she had 'tried to do one before and got her hand slapped'. Just as I was thinking she would be getting more than her hand slapped in a minute, we were joined by Kevin, a younger, but seemingly more senior colleague of Jane.

"Kevin, can he have a checking account?"

"Yup"

"Well, he's only 13"

"Yup, that's fine."

Go Kevin.  Now you may be thinking it was all plain sailing from here on in.  Sadly, you would be wrong. **sigh**

Jane then went on to explain that she had a dual role at the bank and was also a financial advisor ... uh oh ... and then proceeded to launch into a long spiel about financial services regulations and how she was obliged to tell us all of this before she could continue blah blah blah ... none of which was relevant to our requirements. I was rapidly losing the will to live.

When we finally managed to steer her back to the purpose of our visit she advised that the bank systems had all gone down and they were waiting for them to come back on line so she wouldn't be able to open any new accounts at the moment. Aaaaarrrgh!!!!

Just as my hands were making their way towards her throat and Merylee about to suggest we try another bank, Kevin reappeared and said that he would be happy to set up our accounts the old fashioned way, using paper forms, if we didn't mind moving over to his desk?  Mind?! I would have happily moved into the broom cupboard if it meant escaping from Jittery Jane.
We managed to complete all the required paperwork without further incident, well, apart from Kevin's raised eyebrows when he asked Mr B's what his email address was and he had to spell out in a suddenly deathly quiet bank ... marcus.barlow007. Oh God. 

Kevin then turned his attention to me and with a twinkle in his eye, quipped

"Your turn now Moneypenny ..."

Thank God for Kevin. A sense of humour at last!

Finally, 2 hours after we had entered, we left with shiny new bank accounts.

As we headed back to the car guess who was waiting to ambush us? Yup. Jittery Jane!  She was boring some other poor woman to death outside the bank with a can of red bull in hand (Ethan astutely remarked that that was the last thing she needed however it probably explained a lot!) and came beavering over to remind us that if we needed any financial advice then she would be more than happy to help bore us into submission - no thanks.

Wednesday 1st April, and Mr B's first day at his new office.  As well as being April Fool's Day it was also 26 years to the day that he started his very first job at American Express - an irony that was not lost on Ethan and I, particularly when he came home and told us that he had dropped his first "Tickety boo" in the office this week and was amazed that it had been met with a sea of confused faces and mutterings of 'Tickety what??' Bless. If only they knew that that is just the first of many.  Wait till he gets to 'top banana' ...!

Wishing you a very Happy Easter weekend and hope you all have a choctastic day today!