Hanging on the telephone...!

So this week we picked up our new cars and also collected the keys to our rental house (although it will be another 10 days or so before our furniture arrives so we won't be moving in just yet).  But very exciting all the same!

Unfortunately though, this also meant that I would have to contact all the utility providers to arrange transfer of accounts .... ugh! ... and I discovered that dealing with utility companies here is just as painful as it was back in the UK. 

I sat down to make myself comfortable and set about calling the first one on the list - APS Electricity.  After the irritating automated selections (sadly lacking an option to Press # if you are losing the will to live) I finally got to speak to an actual human being, who, even more impressively, was not only in the same country but in the same state ... not only that, but he was actually cheerful and even sounded like he wanted to help me!  Amazing!  10/10 for customer service APS.  After answering a thousand and one security questions (they were nothing if not thorough), I was advised that as we had no credit history in the U.S. yet we would have to pay a security deposit which we would get back after 12 months providing that we paid up on time every month.  This was all sounding too familiar ... the amount of money we have had to spend on 'security deposits' so far is eye watering!  Car leases ... House rental ... Mobile phones ... etc etc.  

"Yes, that's fine"

"OK good, I'll just transfer you to our automated payment system so that you can make your payment"

... Oh.  "Can I not just give you my payment details now?"

"No, sorry.  We are not allowed to take payment information.  I'll just connect you now - it's really easy and only takes a minute." 

Sigh.  Some overly cheerful automated female robot then requested I say my account number after the tone.  Oh, this is where it is all going to go wrong I just know it.

"I'm sorry ... I didn't catch that.  Please repeat your account number now"

Grrrrr .... "I'm sorry, I did not recognise that number.  Please enter your account number via the keypad on your telephone."

Seriously?! ... "I'm sorry, I did recognise that number.  Please hold for the next available agent."

Oh FFS! "Hello, thank you for calling APS how may I help you today?"  I explained the issue. "Oh, I'm sorry about that.  One moment please .... Ah.  That's because the number you entered was your account number"

"Well yes, because that is what it asked for and is the only number I was given" dur ...

"Oh, I'm sorry about that.  You need a DEPOSIT account number to make your security payment, which is different to your account number".  Really.  "Try this number ..... now,  I'll just transfer you to our automated payment system ..."  

Oh God ... and I still had two more of these to go!

Next was Southwest Gas.  By complete contrast this 'customer service' agent sounded like he was half asleep and really couldn't be bothered.  My heart sank.  After explaining once again ... just moved from the UK ... need to set up new account for rental property ... he asked the thousand and one security questions and then advised he just needed to do a quick credit check on his system.  I tried explaining that he wouldn't find us there as we had just moved from the UK (which part of that are they not getting?) but he was having none of it.

"You are not coming up on the system.  Have you had an account with SW Gas in the last 2 years?"

"Er ... no, because as I have explained ... twice ...  we have just moved here from the UK"

"What's your maiden name?  Maybe it will find you under that"

Oh, now this is just getting ridiculous!  Through gritted teeth I repeated myself for the third time, after which I was advised that as they couldn't find me on their system (no sh*t Sherlock) I would have to email a copy of my passport so they could do further checks, which would take up to 3 days, and then I would have to wait for someone to call me back to confirm it had all been approved.  "Oh and we will need to take a security deposit as you have no existing credit history  .... "  Oh, bore off!  Whatever.

After having to repeat the above with the Water company and then once again with the Cable provider (both equally irritating btw) I was feeling completely beaten and definitely earned my cocktail that night I can tell you!  

Now I just need to get our address changed on all our bank accounts, credit cards, healthcare providers .... Oh God.  

Additionally, it transpired that after collecting our new cars (which, btw, I absolutely LOVE!) we then had to go to the DMV to register them ... seriously?!  "Oh, don't worry" said the saleswoman at the Ford dealership.  "It's very straightforward.  All the paperwork you need is in this envelope".  Oh right, that's good then.  I have to say though, that I had already gone off her when she automatically handed the keys to the top of the range model to Marcus, handing me the keys to the lower spec model with just a hint of a sneer.  She looked completely taken aback though when I smiled sweetly and informed her that "actually, this one is mine" #inyourface.  Clearly she did not know what she was up against.  After arriving at the DMV the next morning to the now familiar system of 'wait in line - take a ticket - wait some more for your number to be called - proceed to window' (don't you just have an overwhelming urge to stand up and shout 'BINGO!' ... No? ... er  .. right, just me then) we were eventually  called to window number 13 (that should have been a clue right there) where a lady with wild eyes and even wilder hair proceeded to look through our paperwork.  

"Where's your power of attorney?" she asked. The what now?  We just needed to register a car, not dupe some old lady out of her life savings.  

"You can't register without a Power of Attorney" she barked from behind her desk.

"All the paperwork should be there?"  Apparently not.  Freda at Ford had clearly had the last laugh after all.  After a swift phone call to the dealership (which Mr B decided would be better if he handled ... wise decision), apologies were offered and missing paperwork promised to be despatched forthwith (as only originals would suffice ... obviously), so we will get to do it all again on Monday ... Yay!

Never mind, I am happy to say that we ended the week on a high by collecting the keys to our new house and spending a lovely evening celebrating with our fabulous Realtor (can heartily recommend Sunshine Realty if anyone in the Phoenix area is in need of one) and her partner, who we can hopefully now also count as friends.   

All's well that ends well ... or as Mr B would say ... Tickety-boo!